Two Years Out

My last column from the Cornell Daily Sun.

Sun Podcast: A podcast is available for this column. Click here to listen to or to download it

2005 will always be the year that I graduated from college. However, throughout life, we will continue to graduate from different experiences — schools, jobs and relationships. This year, 2007, I graduate from both my first post college job and this column. Like all graduations, this one is bittersweet. Looking back, I remember the incredible experiences that I will miss. Yet, gazing forward, I am excited for the opportunities beyond the horizon.

In September 2006, I began this column to help the next generation of young alumni by offering insight into life after graduation. With the Daily Sun as my forum, current Cornell students could walk not only in my shoes, but also in those of other graduates. I also sought to catalogue the young alumni experience; not that it can be generalized, but I cast my net widely to write about the myriad career paths, homes and transitions we experience.

While this column has focused on these recent graduates, as I wrote this graduating piece I could not help but wonder how my one year out experience compared to alumni from the 1940s versus today. Within the context of the experiences chronicled throughout this column, I discovered that with a few exceptions, the alumni from Classes before us shared strikingly similar experiences their first years out.

Admittedly, I recognize that I have not touched upon everyone's one year out. Specifically, one that I missed, an experience shared throughout the years, struck me as I stood in the Atlanta airport recently. A thunderous applause erupted as the room of travelers stood to clap. Curious as to the source of this laudatory ovation, I looked up to see a procession of U.S. Marines marching into the room. Drawn by what felt like a magnetic force, my hands clapped in awe. I bit my lip to hold back tears, for at that moment, the soldiers were no longer strangers, but faces resembling my own; they too were only one or two years out or younger. Compared to my experience working in New York, their time was spent at war. While they might not have been Cornellians, their similarity in age evoked the realization that there are those amongst us who stand bravely in their shoes.

Likewise, previous generations of graduates have gone off to war. In his first year out, my employer, Chairman Emeritus of the Board of Trustees Harold Tanner ’52, joined the Navy during the Korean War. Later, with a career in investment banking, he carved out time for Cornell and nonprofit organizations. “Graduates of Cornell have an unusual opportunity to capitalize on their education to have a successful career. They also should make time to put back into the system,” he said, encouraging young alumni to act sooner rather later to pursue clubs after college.

Yet, there remains no comprehensive Orientation after Cornell to introduce alumni to these opportunities. We must create our own, similar to what alumni before us have done. “It is amazing now to look back on how different my life has become than what I thought (and planned) when I was 21,” said astronaut Ed Lu ’84. While we may prepare for one direction, the unexpected route may be most rewarding.

Despite all the planning for summer in winter, established alumni have also graduated without jobs (and turned out more than fine)! When creator of the Myriad Restaurant group Drew Nieporent ’77 graduated, he did not receive a formal employment offer so he worked on a world-class cruise ship. Adjusting to not being a student, Nieporent said, “There was the burden of actualizing my goal which was ultimately to open my own restaurant — that did not take place until eight years later.” Keeping dreams alive and creating a plan to accomplish them enables all of us to achieve goals which we had dreamt of doing when we grew up . In order to succeed, “You might as well enjoy what you’re doing,” advised Kraft Foods CEO Irene Rosenfeld ’75 Ph.D. ’80.

After school, these alumni were ready for the workforce. “I wanted to have an opportunity to begin to apply what I had learned … maintain that desire to never stop learning,” Chairman of the Board of Trustees Peter Meinig ’61 emphasized. As young alumni, we may not be as eager to start work, but we seek to build upon our knowledge.

When graduating college, alumni from the 1940s through today experienced a transition from baggy jeans to tailored suits. They also said goodbye to student standard time. “It was the return to ‘structure’ in my life,” said Trustee Andrew Tisch ’71. “Deadlines were measured in days, not semesters.” Reporter Kate Snow ’91 agreed. “The hardest part was adjusting to a fixed schedule and not having total control over my time,” she said.

Roses remain red and violets are still blue (well, sort of) when it comes to love in college. Dr. Joyce Brothers ’47 met her husband at Cornell where they went on dates (which doesn’t often happen in college today) and honeymooned in the gorges. A topic alumnae hopefully do not encounter as frequently today is the discrimination that Brothers experienced during her doctoral studies. She was told that as a woman, she wouldn’t succeed. She advised, “The person interested in success has to learn to view failure as a healthy, inevitable part of the process of getting to the top.”

Despite busy lives now, commitments keep increasing with each year out. It can be difficult to maintain Cornell connections, although Facebook helps. But when established alumni return for reunions, their lives rewind and fast-forward just as recent alumni experienced at homecoming. “The memories of your experiences will fade unless you preserve them,” said Ezra Cornell ’70. “Stay involved with Cornell, stay connected and give back so that others may enjoy the University experience that you had.”

Five, 10 or 20 years out, you will graduate to roles similar to those of these distinguished alumni. Ironically, their one year out from 1947 through 1991, despite varying decades, shares a similar pattern to our own. While there is no one guide to life after Cornell, add the stamps to your passport because the world is waiting for you.

As with all graduations, I must thank those whom without their support I would not have reached this point: my mom, dad and grandma; editors, Carlos for saying yes and Olivia for editing in airports; my friends for responding to my never-ending questions. I wish I could name all of you, thanks to Becca, Colleen, Dan, Rach, Alan, Ben and Molly.

Finally, this column is dedicated to Scarlett, my loving black Labrador retriever, who until Tuesday for 14 years shared with me phases in my life with unending affection and enthusiasm. I wish she could have been there for the next few years out.

Julia Levy ’05 graduated from the College of Arts and Sciences. She currently works as a Research Assistant at Tanner & Co., Inc. She can be contacted at jml82@cornell.edu. One Year Out appeared alternate Fridays.

Money Doesn't Grow on Trees

From the Cornell Daily Sun Column, One Year Out.

Earlier this year, I ended a long term relationship. It lasted throughout all four years of college. But, the distance was too difficult to maintain after graduation; realistically, there were only three locations where we could meet in Manhattan. Thus, by the time I walked into the New York City branch of my Ithaca bank to close the account, I had been cheating on it with another financial institution. Yet, I had delayed severing my ties because of nostalgia — opening that account (which thankfully had been accruing interest despite its lack of use) was my first major independent financial decision.

With Tax Day this Tuesday, I once again contemplated my college account, prompting me to consider finances in the context of this column’s theme — during and after college.

Prior to college, how financially prepared were we? Sure, in high school, the required economics course taught the stock market; growing up, we had an allowance or dabbled in the lemonade stand business. But, did we understand the value of the dollar? Some of us learned it first hand by working a part-time minimum wage job. As a coffee brewer, you realize that half an hour on the job equals one espresso, not to mention the hours you need to clock in order to purchase a pair of Diesel jeans.

By grasping that insight as a student, you will be ahead of the financial planning curve. “If you learn early on how to budget and work with the money you have, you’re in the driver’s seat,” said Ellen Braitman ’90, anchor for Bloomberg Television and author of Dollars & Sense for College Students. “I wrote Dollars & Sense to empower students to take control of their financial lives. Almost a decade later, that message still rings true. Students need to know that money is a tool to get them what they want, career-wise, entertainment-wise, etc.” After graduation that advice translates to the real world where for the first time, despite earlier nudging, we understand the significance of budgeting as we encounter the sticker shock value of life’ s expenses.

As college begins, one of the largest expenses we face is tuition itself, thousands of dollars worth. Despite paying relatively similar amounts of tuition and graduating with similar degrees, our salaries differ depending on career. Continuing with graduate school, we may fall deeper in debt. Seeking to break into a competitive industry, we intern without pay. Among entry level positions, salaries diverge —plug Marketing Coordinator and Consultant into salary.com, for example. In today’s economy, even being paid top dollar may not make ends meet, according to Laurie Hensley, instructor of Personal Financial Management at Cornell. “[Graduates] may be very surprised to learn that the big salary they are earning is not going to be enough to cover all their costs. Planning can prevent them from getting in over their heads financially,” she said.

Let’s plan, beginning with Room and Board. In college, often, housing and food are paid in advance. Residences required a small deposit, not the broker fee, security deposit and guarantors associated with the Manhattan market. “When you get your first paycheck and realize that at least half goes to rent, it’s pretty scary. You immediately rethink the deluxe cable package for the apartment, given that you’re not home enough to watch it,” said Benjy Weiss ’03. Numerous other expenses might incline you to turn lights off frequently and decorate on a dime. One advantage of life after college, however, is that your company may cover your relocation expenses, instead of when you were in college, where you had to ship your boxes yourself.

Also, in college, food is pre-paid with meal plan, Big Red and City Bucks. In the working world, dining out can add up. Rest assured, you can still savor culinary creations, but it’s not necessary to always go gourmet. Meanwhile, the cost of groceries can be so outrageous that it turns into the topic du jour where at a wine tasting with other Cornellians, I had an impromptu discussion of the best-priced grocery stores in town. While our conversation sounded similar to a group of grandmothers, we recognized that the extra cash comes in handy for expenses, including clothing, transportation and entertainment, to name a few.

First, what to wear? In college, many of us lived in jeans. Certainly, there were the fashion conscious who sported designer brands. But, brace yourself for building the working wardrobe with suits that must be dry cleaned. Instead of walking to work as we did to class, we rely upon transportation. “I spend a ton of money on MetroCards, Long Island Railroad tickets and taxis,” said Amy Breitberg ’04. Moreover, after work and on the weekend, entertainmentwise, there is nothing quite like the social scene of college with its student prices for cultural performances and parties. “In a way, frat parties were the best deal out there,” Caitlin Myles ’06 jokes. “Think of how much that was taken for granted compared to $8 drinks now!” Perhaps because there are so many more venues, the added costs can be justified?

While those expenses might be considered luxuries, one necessity, health insurance, is being priced out of recent graduates’ reach. Gone are the days when you could show your Student I.D. at Gannett. Sure, we joked that the nurses would ask if we were pregnant before treating pink eye, but we were lucky to have affordable healthcare. This month, New York Magazine published “The Young Invincibles” where reporter David Amsden writes, “they’re young and healthy and insurance is expensive. As long as they don’t catch the flu, slip on the ice, crash a bike, snowboard into a tree, rupture an appendix or get hit by a bus, everything will be fine. Right?”

That leaves us wondering: what’s left, if anything, at the end of the month? Recent graduates often live paycheck to paycheck. Dan Tevet ’05 emphasizes that it’s difficult to “adjust to the concept of savings. [But] it’s important to create a safety net for future uncertainties. I budgeted in college, but I budget compulsively now,” he said.

While the start of college might have been the first of our independent financial decisions, it’s only the beginning. We shouldn’t let these expenses deter our career dreams, but we must keep in mind our assets and liabilities because money doesn’t grow on trees, at least not yet; we are still waiting for a lab in Duffield Hall to invent one.

Walking Backwards to Work

This Week's One Year Out from the Cornell Daily Sun.

For the next two weeks, I hereby certify you in walking backwards. Your mission as a current student, should you choose to embrace it, is to serve as an instant tour guide to the prospective members of Cornell's Class of 2011. As an ad hoc ambassador, you will be stopped in the morning on your way to class by parents who ask, "How do you like it here?" Later in the day, sporting their Big Red apparel, these future Cornell families will tour the residence halls, questioning occupants about sleeping, studying and socializing in cozy quarters. And at dinner, you will endure longer than usual lines while these guests taste-test award winning Cornell Dining, breathing a sigh of relief upon seeing the wok at Mongo Grill, but worried at the possibility of their children eating waffles topped with ice cream for breakfast.

Be patient students, because you were once one of these visitors during Cornell Days. Before committing to attend Cornell, you conducted extensive research and developed your own ranking as a personalized supplement to U.S. News and World Report's.

Four years later as college concludes, you will once again return to the research and rankings, applying them to a new purpose — the job search. This time of year, the college decisions of high school seniors hang in the balance and the career choices of college seniors are imminent; walking backwards to revisit the college search might propel you forward as you contemplate career options. When looking at job opportunities, examining your choice of employment in the same way you would consider colleges can shed light on the decision process.

Beginning with location, what attracted you to Cornell? For me, walking by waterfalls en route to class epitomized the ideal environment. Sure, as a Southerner, I wondered if I would freeze during the winter. As a blizzard survivor, I barely factored weather into my job search, instead seeking to transition from rural to city. In addition, the working environment where you can spend more than 60 hours a week merits evaluation. Not whether or not you will have a corner office, but instead, are the surroundings dreary or modern? Basically, what is the corporate feng-shui? Your interview offers a limited glimpse of the corporate campus. Regrettably, you can't wander off to explore like on your college visit.

You also can't round the corner to a cubicle to ask future co-workers, "Do you like working here?" Just as you considered who your peers might be at Cornell (I was excited by the international student body and Colleen Lynch '06 by the number of languages spoken on campus), you should evaluate whether or not your co-workers are friendly or competitive. Will you be entering with a freshmen class of recent graduates? Moreover, your manager matters significantly. During a 30 minute interview, it's difficult to evaluate your supervisor's management style, but will she be a mentor or an obstacle? And while the glamor of working for a big name company is exciting, sometimes you can gain more experience as the big fish in a small pond.

In comparison to the vast phonebook- sized courses of study offered at Cornell, it's difficult to visualize the learning opportunities you might gain from a job. However, simply asking about daily responsibilities sheds light upon growth potential. "Just as the primary goal in college was to learn how to think," shares Dan Kasell '02, "similarly, my firm's generalist philosophy — which I was perhaps attracted to because of my experience at Cornell — is meant to produce creative lawyers who know how to think." Broad skills such as those acquired in first jobs allow you to gauge what you do and don't like, serving as stepping stones for future pursuits. Before accepting a position, consider asking yourself the following question which my dad asked me: how will this job prepare you for the next? Yikes, that's planning ahead, but, contemplating your future direction clarifies present goals.

While studying was a top priority in college, so too was ensuring a well rounded environment with extracurricular and social activities. "At my information session I was amazed to learn Cornell had so many student organizations. If you wanted, you could create your own," shares Rachelle Butt '06. From a cappella wars to dance performances, student productions at Cornell were so numerous that often two were scheduled per night, assuring me that I would never be bored. Once you graduate, these activities don't have to be tossed aside because of your job — all work and no play leads to burn out. "A lot of people think that they're willing to work ridiculous hours because it's somehow 'glamorous,' but they are ending up pretty unhappy. Money versus free time, I know it sounds like a no brainer, but you really have to think about what matters to you," William Chang '05 explains. In a roundabout way, you need to find out the average hours, weekend and travel included, before accepting.

Once employed, instead of subtracting from, we are now adding to our bank accounts. Despite our prestigious degrees, the career paths we pursue span wide income ranges. Unless the Bank of Mom and Dad is an option, a wage which covers expenses is essential. "When deciding on a college, I wanted the best college experience I could find, no matter what the cost," shares Brennan Veys '06. "After accruing debts for those four years of college, however, money was a much bigger factor in the job decision." And although retirement seems years away, what are the benefits associated with your job? Is there a 401K, stock, health insurance and vacation?

Returning to that college checklist in the job search reminds us of the broad factors we must consider — location, people, learning, work/life balance and finances — they each matter in similar and new ways. However, when we applied to college, we chose — Early Decision or Regular Admission, committing in December or comparing all our options in April. The second time around, the job application process is more like Rolling Admissions with a binding agreement at the first or best opportunity we receive. Not always able to evaluate all offers at once, we take the plunge, and move forward with the hope of one day walking backwards to lead others down similar paths of success.

Sun Podcast: A podcast is available for this column. Click here to listen to or to download it

Home Sweet Home

From today's Cornell Daily Sun Column, One Year Out.

As of last week, most students now have an official address for next year's care packages to be sent. Congratulations, you are the survivors of the first online housing lottery; that is, if you didn't already commit to Collegetown in October. While I never participated in the housing lottery, finally finding my New York City apartment felt like winning the lottery — the prize could have been a real world version of the hockey fan's "I did my time in line" t-shirt.

Instead, I survived the brokers: Raul with his tight white pants, alligator boots and unusual vocabulary expressions and Babs who loved to pet every dog while recommending the best neighborhood restaurants. As I followed them around the Upper East Side of Manhattan, I tried to make sense of a housing market where a one-bedroom apartment must be converted into a two in order to afford the price of rent, and where the apartment I saw one day might not be available the next.

Then, there were the rounds of Craigslist "auditions" where I literally competed for a room and a roommate. Once I arrived for an apartment appointment to find five other girls waiting outside in the sweltering hallway. The current residents had scheduled 15 minute interviews with potential roommates, taking notes as we talked. I felt as if I should have brought my resume and a photograph so they could remember me. And the disappointment I sensed when I received an e-mail which felt like a college rejection letter: "Thanks for coming to see the apartment. The girls and I enjoyed meeting you. I wanted to let you know that we found someone to take over my lease so the room is no longer available. I wish you the best of luck in your apartment search."

When I finally found the roommate and the apartment where we would live, I felt like I had "won" the lottery, except of course I had to shell out a security deposit and rent. In exchange, I had a home. Unpacking the boxes in my first apartment, I experienced a new appreciation for the meaning of home — the one stationary place where I could step away from the hustle and bustle of the city. While I added decorations, it took time to feel like my own place. Similarly, moving from my house in the suburbs of Atlanta to a small room in Low Rise 6 had not initially felt like home. In fact, since graduating from high school, the concept of "home" has continued to evolve. I couldn't click my heels and go backwards, but only move forward to each new place.

My sophomore and junior years, living in Clara Dickson as a Resident Advisor, home meant helping freshmen adjust by organizing activities to create community in a building comprised primarily of singles. It also meant encountering situations one might not expect at "home," including asking the young man who decided to wash his feet in the sink of the girl's bathroom to please stop, evacuating the building at 2 a.m. because a resident had caused an aluminum can to explode in the microwave and persuading residents to take down their hook up charts which publicly advertised their love lives on their doors.

Senior year I moved to West, braving the slope to be a Student Assistant in the Alice Cook House during its inaugural year. There, I met the Graduate Resident Fellows from chemistry, law and business, who served as mentors to undergraduates in and out of the classroom; drank tea with distinguished guests including former Attorney General Janet Reno '61; and discussed both intellectual and everyday subjects with House Fellows Prof. Larry Moore and Vice President for Student and Academic Services Susan Murphy '73. There, perhaps because it was called a house, but mostly because of the living and learning experience guided by Dean Ross Brann and Assistant Dean Jean Reese, it felt like home. And there was no place else like it where, along with my peers, I could have s'mores with the oldest Cornell alumna Happy Reichert '25 and watch Bill Nye '77 perform science experiments in my "living room."

Although not everyone lives on campus all four years, they still experience other college versions of home. Some moved to sorority and fraternity houses. "I lived in Kappa Kappa Gamma sophomore year. It was an amazing experience living with 40 women at one time," explains Alex Cox-Cuzzi '05. Others moved to co-ops, program houses, or Collegetown. "When will I ever live in a house with future doctors from Florida, two Californians and a kid from New Jersey with a hint of southern twang?" Chris Kan '05 recalls of his living experience.

Leaving our college residences behind, we are faced with two main decisions — move back to our childhood homes or not. Back at home, despite the fact that we have been away, time in many ways stood still. "I spent the last four years developing my own routines," Jennifer Quintanilla '06 explains of living at home, "the biggest adjustment is having to coordinate my schedule. Out of consideration for my family, I can't come and go as easily as I did in college."

Katie Dicicco '06 feels similarly. "Even though it's 'home,' I miss having my own space, doing things the way I am now use to doing them. Although, I don't mind my mom occasionally doing my laundry."

Even when we do move on our own, our work schedules affect our living routines. "During a six month consulting project in Minneapolis, I literally lived in hotel rooms. The great thing was being able to travel for free on the weekends to fun destinations like Las Vegas, London and Amsterdam. The downside was the constant flux of moving and missing out on several big moments in my friends lives," explains Ben Weiss '03.

While there really is no place like our childhood home, we will always have the new homes we create in college and beyond. And every once in a while, those worlds will overlap like when we experience the housing lottery, New York City edition.

Goodbye Student Standard Time

The fourth column of One Year Out for 2nd semester with a podcast!

Next week, time springs ahead with Daylight Savings. Ready or not, we lose an hour of sleep, but gain longer sun-filled days. When I reset my watch, the second hand will freeze, momentarily paused between my two time zones — college and workforce time.

As these two worlds intersect, in what ways has the notion of time changed since I graduated?

Daily, my alarm clock rings significantly earlier. Work begins before many of us had our first college class, adapting our routines to the present realities. “At Cornell, you can study till 2 a.m., wake up at 9 a.m., stumble to class, maybe grab a nap in the library at 2 p.m., then rinse and repeat. When you have a job…you can’t be a zombie all day,” Alex Preus ’06 imparts. Certainly, we can’t risk dozing off at meetings. That means, early to bed and early to rise. “I am always in bed by 11 p.m. and up by 6:30 a.m.,” as Anna Binstock ’06 describes her change in routine since graduating.

By noon, the excitement of lunch hour mental breaks still reign. While Trillium with our friends was great, there are now more options — elegant client meals and catered company lunches — not to mention the possibility of escaping for a quick shopping spree to a place other than the campus store. Of course, there are times when we eat at our desks, but who didn’t sneak a meal into the stacks on a stressful day?

Post lunch hour, we continue working, begrudgingly adjusting to not procrastinating over coffee at CTB or escaping to the gym. “When you get fed up with an assignment, you can’t just get up and leave for a few hours,” expresses Claire Boronow ’06. “That’s one of the hardest things for me — when I reach that point where I know I’m burned out and unproductive, I can’t just walk away from my computer.”

Thankfully, at the end of the day, many jobs do not require homework. For Meghan Seradsky ’06, “I have time to cook and go to the gym in the evenings,” she expresses of her pleasantly surprising free time. With this opportunity, our social lives can multiply as we attend happy hours or comedy shows without the pressure to study afterwards. Elizabeth Bailey ’05 describes “free time as the new natural state.” Utilizing it to our advantage, we may re-learn Spanish or train for a marathon, activities that our 24/7 Cornell existence would never have allowed. Of course, the amount of time varies depending on your field; consultants and investment bankers anonymously express that their late nights leave little down time during the week.

As the week wraps up, the weekends signify an unprecedented sense of autonomy. On a Saturday morning, I no longer have to pack my books for a day at Uris Library, but can go to the beach instead. In comparison to how often we stepped off campus while school was in session, the working world gives us the opportunity to enjoy the surroundings we neglected as students; it’s too bad that most of us aren’t still near Ithaca to appreciate Taughannock or Buttermilk Falls. And while the cultural enrichment of Bhangara and Chinese New Year were fantastic, we can now explore even more at museums and festivals as hometown tourists.

These noted changes, evident in our daily and weekly routines, are even more noticeable when evaluated from the perspective of a year. Lacking semesters as our guide, the months melt together without a twelve week structure where we knew our assignments in advance, when we could recharge on vacation and knew what we would accomplish at term’s end.

At work, there isn’t always a typical day. Meetings are set but shuffled around, rarely beginning exactly as class did at 10:10 a.m. While we might set out with one project, another could take precedence. This element of the unknown keeps us on our toes, an exciting change from the routine of college where syllabi mapped out reading requirements and lecture topics weeks in advance.

When in need of vacation, unfortunately, there are no mandatory fall, winter, spring and summer breaks. “I miss having required vacations,” says Sam Duncan ’03. We have to use our vacation time sparingly. While we can go skiing with friends, it can be harder to take off backpacking in Europe. For those of us seeking an Alternative Break, the Public Service Center organizes amazing student trips to Nicaragua and West Virginia. If you are interested in attending a young alumni version, send me an email so that we can work with Joyce Muchan ’96, the PSC’s Assistant Director for Student Development, to plan one.

With our jobs lasting longer than a semester, evaluating a sense of accomplishment takes the form of performance reviews rather than grades — a four on a performance scale might equal an A minus in a course, however. Granted, we are judged daily on our work, but when we reflect upon what we learn on the job, assessing it can be a lot more difficult to verbalize than after fall semester of freshmen year, when I gained an understanding of astronomy, Chinese literature, international law and Hebrew. In attempting to translate that sense of accomplishment, we realize that despite feeling that we do not maintain control over our schedules, we do — we decide what job we want to strive for after two years or when we should return to graduate school. There are just no semester timeframes forcing us to decide. We have to be even more proactive to reach our goals for the day, the week and the year.

Next week as I reset my watch, on the minute hand, losing an hour of sleep is like the disappointment of leaving student standard time behind. But, on the second hand, it is compensated by the extended rays of sunshine that the new and unique experiences life after college has to offer. Only time will tell what those will be.

Sun Podcast: A podcast is available for this column. Click here to listen to or to download it

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue

The third column of 2nd semester.

Roses are red; violets are blue. Sixty percent of Cornellians marry one another. This Valentine’s Day, I wondered, is that rumor really true? A sizeable percentage of Cornellians meet their future spouses on campus. For Jessica Shaw ’99 and her fiancé Joel Raha ’99, “Our relationship struck up senior year at a Zinck’s Night sponsored by the Class of 1999 to celebrate 99days before graduation. Eight years later to the month we began dating, he proposed to me,” she shared. More recently, Matt O'Connor ’06 and Summer Peck ’07 were engaged. They were set up by Summer's sorority sisters for a formal dance, and the rest is history.

Significant forces propel these and other Cornell couples together — attraction, common interests, and shared values. Of course, the nearness in proximity, or propinquity, certainly helped. Bumping into a cool guy in the dining hall often enough is bound to lead towards an eventual date, right? But, wait … did we actually date in college? Do “watch a movie in my room” or “meet at that party” count as the formal invitations of our parents’ generation? You can blame it on the studying not leaving us any time to make plans in advance or the desire to just hook up on the dance floor, but dating in college is more of an anomaly than a frequent occurrence.

To be fair, amidst this environment, we adapted. We dated by going ice skating in Lynah Rink or meeting for Bubble Tea. Sometimes, those dates evolved into boyfriends who I saw around campus everyday. As our relationships developed, I grew to know them within a world of shared social lives, student organizations and academic deadlines. Of course, when we broke up, I wished the campus were bigger so that I wouldn’t bump into them so often.

While some of us stay in relationships that began on campus, maintaining them can be challenging. After Cornell, our paths take us in directions where we are no longer a five-minute walk from our significant other. Long distance can make the heart grow fonder, or it can do just the opposite. Once one person feels the other isn’t trying, love fades quickly. Sometimes, it can be hard to let go, but in the end, moving forward makes you happier. Even when a couple moves to the same city, jobs put new pressure on our love lives.

After college, whether one is suddenly single or still searching, how has dating changed, for better or for worse?...

Continue reading the column here.

Learning for Life, Part II

Even if a class has capped at 100 people, as a student you can now "sit in" on the course, virtually, of course. This rising feature of universities to place lectures, notes, and syllabuses on the web is not solely available to students, but alumni, and increasingly the general public. It is the subject of a Wall Street Journal article titled Yale on $0 a day.

Following the lead of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and other highly competitive schools, more institutions are posting online everything from lecture notes to sample tests, and even making audio and video files of actual lectures publicly available. The sites attract anywhere from thousands to more than one million unique visitors each month.

In January, I addressed the desire for recent graduates and also alumni to continue to learn even after they graduate in my column "Learning for Life." Interestingly, more universities are reaching out to the public to fill this void. And it's not just young alumni who are seeking the learning opportunities. The return on investment from posting these online courses is vast--a rise in public knowledge and publicity for the school, to name only two.

What are some of the others?